l o v e is forevevevevevever.
The last post was was created about a month before I met love. This post is created after I lost love.
Laughter is my drug of choice. The endorphins released are assisting my survival. This is no joke, it’s a matter of life & hopelessness. Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, The Marx Brothers, Flight of the Conchords, 30Rock, Arrested Development, to name a few of my prescriptions. When faced with fear, utter disappointment and a broken heart, I choose to laugh. I believe this is the path to joy. My yellow brick road journey … Buster Keaton is the scarecrow, Groucho Marx is the tin man, and Harpo Marx is the cowardly lion.
s m i l e
Lately, a few folks have been curious about my choice of “spinster” -
I find a bit power in the word “spinster -
i want an expression better than “divorcee” or “single” -
I see opportunity in this word , I can “spin” – My circumstances/attitude are in my own hands… sometimes i spin complaints, poor attitudes… other times i spin daily reflections and strong life choices (ie: pure motherhood, celibacy) – i’ve researched the term and the word itself has had its own ups and downs. at one time it defined a higher status: it was an unmarried woman who didnt have to work to support herself [from Womanwords A Dictionary of Words About Women by Jane Mills] – and then the word became synomous w/harlot (oh my!) … from the same book about a study from 1880-1930 of spinsters “a class of spinsters proud to proclaim they were happy, fulfilled, and had made a deliberate choice” … & how about this Gem of a quote from page 228 “behind … the negative connotations of the word lies the patriarchal fear that women, or at least some women, can actually do very well without men”. gotta love this word!
& don’t get me wrong, I don’t want the rest of my life to be without a man, but this is my life at the moment …
I’m attracted to this word,
the “-ster” suffix seems ironic -
& don’t get me wrong, I don’t want the rest of my life to be without a man, but this is my life at the moment …
I’m attracted to this word,
the “-ster” suffix seems ironic -
Aesthetics are nice, they compliment a life with color, texture, the small details of ones surroundings …
but I feel I’m losing some sort of class war that is being fought with design and beauty.
I have the battle within me, too …
I am not exempt from vanity …
I know the difference between the good paper and the poor,
I desire high thread count sheets …
Has true art been pimped out to make some of us better than others?
Home.
without the kids here, I come to a screeching halt. To move their breakfast dishes from the table takes a will that I do not have when they are not home. By leaving syrup to harden on polkadotted Correll plates, I can pretend that my home still holds them …
After work I looked my kids in the eyes. I listened to their stories. I wiped up water from wood floors. I was beat at Apples to Apples Jr. I won SORRY; I was blue.
After the babysitters, my kids looked my in the eyes. They told me stories. They spilled water, but didnt fret. They beat me at Apples to Apples Jr. They lost at SORRY; they were green & red.
My garden is an odd collection of flowers.
Survivors.
Peanut Gallery.
Strong and laughable.
Hearty marigolds are crowding the miraculous hydrangeas.
Daisies are powerful, towering, each year gaining more ground.
Staycation. The word is annoying, cloying. But, the kids and I did it anyway. We stayed home for vacation. The time home is wrapping up … I didn’t do any grand cleaning. We managed with the minimum that I do when I’m working. We bowled, we played at parks, we played at home, we watched movies, we bought trading cards, we ate out, we stayed up late. We meshed, our rhythms found eachother and there is a different vibe/feel in the house. Home. We are more home.
time to blog again. time to write words. time has passed by. time is my favorite guy. today, my son said, “before anything was invented there was no ‘time ‘either, right mom?” He’s 7 years old. My kids are gorgeous geniuses… have I mentioned this? My kid is my favorite guy… he had me in stitches today doing an impression of Dana Carvey doing an impression of a guy doing an impression of a turtle… (from Master of Disguise) “aren’t I turtley enough for the Turtle Club” … guess you had to be there … my kids are beautiful comic geniuses… they are brilliant in their childhood, i need sunglasses! 
